don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
