I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
