I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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