Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
