i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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