just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My penis needs a shock collar
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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