I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am naked and annoyed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Pooping to opera.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
