how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
