you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
