my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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