oh god the rape fog is back!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You took a bar mat shot.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
