He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
