she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
