Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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