I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
two words: eviction party
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
