What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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