He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
