Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
