are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
