Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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