do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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