we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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