I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
