So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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