What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Drake has all the answers
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
