I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
