Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize