We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
