her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
