girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have aggressive nipples.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
