So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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