Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
