That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
