Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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