I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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