im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
