He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
