WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
