i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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