paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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