Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
