you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
