I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
