she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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