it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
