my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
