He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
