also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you had me at cake vodka
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
