You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
