kristin has been a bad kristin
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
