Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
