Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
