About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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