This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He felt like a one man threesome
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
