if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
