Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
